Beyoncé had planned to kick off her new world tour with the momentum from her halftime performance at Super Bowl 50. However, the controversial, anti-cop performance has kicked it off with a different way.
But if police aren’t going to protect her, she needn’t worry. She has a guardian angel who will provide security for her!
In the form of, um, Minister Louis Farrakhan of the Nation of Islam.
— MINISTER FARRAKHAN (@LouisFarrakhan) February 22, 2016
Wow. That sounds like the best idea since Mick Jagger and Keith Richards thought turning over security to the Hells Angels at Altamont was a groovy way to keep the crowd under control.
For those of you not versed in the vagaries of Nation of Islam lingo (and I’m sure I’m talking to no one here), theFruit of Islam is a male-only paramilitary wing of the Nation of Islam consisting of men in a distinctive uniform that looks like a cross between the NOI’s usual bowtie-clad garb and the official regalia of some tinpot South American dictator.
So, rest assured, anyone who isn’t African-American or a member of the NOI: you’re going to be perfectly safe at Beyoncé’s shows if they take over.
But who wouldn’t feel safe at an event hosted by this tolerant individual?
Last July, Farrakhan also said “The Koran teaches persecution is worse than slaughter. Then it says, retaliation is prescribed in matters of the slain. Retaliation is a prescription from God to calm the breaths of those whose children have been slain.
“So if the federal government will not intercede in our affairs, then we must rise up and kill those who kill us. Stalk them and kill them and let them feel the pain of death that we are feeling.”
No word from Beyoncé yet on whether she’ll be accepting the minister’s offer. However, I see no reason she shouldn’t. What could possibly go wrong?